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Reflections on a Passionist Institute

Waihi Beach 2005

It is almost too difficult to put into words the experience of a Passionist Institute. But then, not being one to be short on words I thought I would attempt it. It is indeed an experience worth sharing. In fact, it is more than experiencing the Institute that remains in my heart. It is the memory of “being in the experience”. Thankfully that memory remains with me today.

My initial reticence about making a decision to commit one precious week of annual leave, travel hundreds of miles by car, boat and plane and spend the longest time ever away from my three children, was quickly washed away as the first day began. From the moment we gathered for our first Eucharist, it became obvious that this week was indeed to become one of those “treasures not made of gold…”

We were gently invited to journey together through the week, exploring the Charism of the Passionists and to learn of their founder, Paul Danei. I will admit to a little scepticism prior to embarking on this journey. Having just helped our youngest son to choose his Confirmation saint, I knew through the eyes of a 9yr old what might constitute a “cool saint”. I’m not sure Paul of the Cross would have earned that title and certainly our children were a little perplexed as to why mum and dad needed to spend a whole week finding out about him!! Personally I felt a twinge of doubt as to how this man who lived in the 1700’s might have any relevance to my life. I am very pleased to admit I was mistaken.

As the week progressed we listened, we sang, we prayed together and alone, we celebrated, we shed tears – both silent and real, we laughed out loud, we shared in our small groups and in our meal times. There was a well thought out balance of input, group sharing, shared prayer and time alone, and for that I am grateful. It was not a demanding week, but a gentle journey of discovery.

This journey of understanding gifted me with an opportunity to move deeper into an experience of Christ crucified. What I had previously experienced from a respectful distance gradually became very personal. I was drawn into the Humanity of the suffering Christ on the cross. Whilst my contemplation of Jesus on the cross had previously focussed on the Divine presence of God, I was lead more deeply to focus upon the Humanity of Jesus suffering and dying on the cross. From this point came the overwhelming revelation of God’s love. My lasting image is one of Jesus on the cross asking “Who do you say I am?” The answer matters less than the question: “Who do YOU say I am?” How does one put into words the intense feeling of being in the presence of God? The words become mere utterances……you are my every breath, my every thought, my every action.

I was grateful too for the shared wisdom of all our presenters and through their care and integrity in presenting that which was obviously very close to their hearts, I was gifted with an opportunity to come into an understanding of the true meaning of the Passionist Charism.

It is with a grateful heart that I give thanks to the Passionist Community of the Holy Cross Province for their initiative in bringing the Institute to New Zealand. I give thanks to God for the gifted Passionists - Brian, Kevin, Dennis and Chris who presented, guided us and journeyed with us, during our week. I am also grateful for the opportunity afforded to Lynn Hill to be invited to stand alongside the professed Passionists and share her story. Not only was it her honour to present at the Institute, we too were richly blessed by the story she had to share from her own personal perspective. Lynn’s story illustrated a living gift of the Charism of the Passionists.

This Charism was gifted to us all and I believe like many others, I may have ‘caught’ some of that Charism. Being part of this experience touched my very heart and soul and gave sense and meaning to all that I am and all that I do. I am keen to read more of Paul of the Cross and to understand more of his Spiritual journey. I am grateful that he was such a prolific writer and that many of his letters have been saved. His gift of guiding others through the written word makes it a lasting gift. I am pleased for the English translations and the opportunity through other’s writings to understand more of this man and of the times that he lived in.

Much of what I have read has already struck a chord with me. Paul writes of the value of solitude and though I am aware of few opportunities in my life to experience physical solitude I strive to develop more a sense of inner solitude that Paul teaches as being “the solitude of the heart…the interior desert in which your spirit can become totally immersed in God” Paul stressed that it could even be possible to “have solitude in a crowd”.

I am striving not to give in to “spiritual curiosity” and to truly believe that “whatever happens comes from the loving hand of God…..let go and let it happen” a real challenge!

Paul’s ability to write about matters of ordinariness is appreciated by this novice follower. Just as he is deeply centred on guiding others spiritually, he also has a remarkable gift to communicate care and understanding in relation to physical, social and emotional well being.

In Paul’s Spiritual diary he often writes of being “recollected, uplifted and at peace” after receiving communion. This heightens for me the fact that we have few moments of complete silence during our Mass (even 2-3 minutes). We fill our Eucharistic prayer times with words, songs, movement. After Mass, life resumes where we left off. I now have a new awareness of “being in the presence of God” and to be less concerned with ‘doing’ and more concerned with “being still”……being in the presence of God and in the presence of others, whether that be in times of prayer, work, with family or in any part of my day.

These are but a few of the reflections that I am left with after my ‘week’ with Paul of the Cross. Perhaps it was a life changing experience? Only time can tell. I believe I now can tentatively call myself a Passionist Companion, and this fledging companion of the deep south will strive to keep the memory of the Passion alive whilst seeking to gather companions on my journey with me.

“May the Passion of Jesus Christ be always in our hearts.”

Terry Prince
November 2005